@simoncholland: Accidentally played dad instead of dead when I encountered a bear and now it can ride a bike without training wheels.
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@bggas400: You never know how many people are out jogging early in the morning till you back out of your driveway with frost covered windows.
@badbanana: People overlook Dracula's positive attributes. In his bat form, he eats mosquitoes and other unwanted backyard insects.
@dreamthievin: Everything I know about sex I learned from Tetris: rotate it and hope it fits in another slot