@mjkspeaks: Accidentally pressed 2 for Spanish and Donald Trump's security team came out of nowhere to deport me.
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@GloriaFallon123: To clear a pop-up ad online, I was just forced to agree that "I don't care about being healthy and smelling clean"
@Illiter8: Oh, you thought my hair twirling was flirting? Actually, it was just me checking for split ends because you were boring the shit out of me.
@Pro_Jones_: (NASA) HQ: Good launch everyone. Astronaut: Uhh what's that buzzing noise? NASA Prankster: Definitely rocket noise and not bees.