@JasonLastname: Accidentally pronounced wifi as "wifey" and the hotel concierge said the password's helping out around the house and being a good listener.
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@Poutymcgee: "THE PLATYPUS HERE TASTES LIKE SHIT! DO NOT ORDER IT!" I shout in the face of a confused and frightened old lady at the zoo.
@protolalia: I'm 39 years old and I still have no idea what I would do if a kangaroo entered my bedroom in the middle of the night.
@RadioShorty: So let me get this right. The guys on big bang theory are super smart scientific nerds, yet their elevator is broken?!
@murrman5: "ok start it up" tktktk-puh-buurup-chk-a-chk "give it some gas" ss-ss-icka-icka-grrawh-pshhhh any ideas? "I can't hear over you beatboxing"