@ADifGuy: Accidentally pushed the premium gas button and now I'm worried my car is high.
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@SteveKoehler22: Ladies : Who's the man who, with just the slightest touch- gives you chills and makes you tremble with anticipation ? Your dentist.
@pinupteacher: ME: For my final wish, I'd like to lose some weight. GENIE: Only way is to eat less and exercise more. ME: This is bullshit.
@delusions_of: Laughter is the best medicine. Unless you have herpes. Laugh all you want, you'll still have herpes.
@TheMichaelRock: Kinda rude of my neighbors to be burning leaves before I had a chance to blow mine into their yard.