@ADifGuy: Accidentally pushed the premium gas button and now I'm worried my car is high.
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@GibJimson: If you ever get drugged by someone and they steal an organ, just check Craigslist. That's probably where I'm selling it at.
@bearcub577: Telling my daughter garlic is good for you. Good immune system and keeps pests away.Ticks, mosquitos, vampires... men.
@JosesLovesYou: I remember back in the day when you had to roll up a tiny scroll and give it to a falcon to tweet