@ADifGuy: Accidentally pushed the premium gas button and now I'm worried my car is high.
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@stephenjmolloy: Security: Animals aren't allowed in this art gallery, sir. Me: It's my guide dog. Dog: Picasso, born 25/10/1881, was a Spanish painter...
@mulliganstewed: As soon as my daughter realizes Jamacians, Irish, & wizards don't all have the same accent, I'm probably going to get fired from storytime.
@GibJimson: My family doesn't get together a lot during the holidays. We see each other enough throughout the year at all the interventions.