@KKAlThani: Accidentally ran over my neighbor's cat today & I was scared to tell him to his face so I left a note saying "curiosity was here"
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@UncleDuke1969: [job interview] Him: What’s your greatest strength? Me: I’m very independent. Him: … Me: … Him: … Me: Tell him, Mom. Mom: He is!
@Tharin_P: Bank ads make me want to hide my money under my mattress. They also make me want to acquire some money for hiding, but that's a side issue.
@DirtMcTurd: "You get a Bible! You get a Bible! You get a Bible! You all get Biibbbllleess!!!! ~Poprah
@jordan_stratton: The best part of Robocop is when they spent billions of dollars making a cyborg super soldier instead of helping Detroit not be awful.