@batkaren: Accidentally ran the wash with Ecstasy still in a back pocket. Now my jeans are freaking out, and the zipper won't stop grinding its teeth.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@PunLovinLad: The inventor of inappropriate innuendo has died His family are taking it really hard
@alrulz2009: If you love something set it free. If it comes back, celebrate with some delicious tacos. If it doesn't that's twice the tacos for you.
@PJTLynch: Marriage teaches you a lot about yourself. For instance, I've learned that I don't need to use so many paper towels, and they're expensive.