@TheCatWhisprer: Accidentally switched the baby formula with coconut milk and now my newborn is complaining that her lullabies are "too mainstream."
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@Brentweets: Playing Guess Who these days is hard "Is your person white?" "Excuse me?" "Is your person white?" "I don't see skin color I just see people"
@Vice_Queen: Please stop telling me how you wish you had my curly hair. You don't know the struggle of waking up looking like Mufasa.
@Tylerosis: I say I want a gf but I don't even know what I'd do with one. Do you just kiss her and leave her alone in a corner? How often does it eat?
@jwoodham: Welcome to Applebee's! Can I take your order or do you need a few minutes to reflect on the mistakes you made in life that led you here?