@iwearaonesie: Accidentally told the dog she’s my favorite in front of my kids again
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@GensPlace: I'm not sure about accusing someone of wanting to get into my pants. I'd like to see him try. I can hardly get into them myself..
@: My flight was delayed 3 hours so I was doing what any human does when they’re bored. Minding my own business swiping through tinder & the guy behind me goes “ouch hard no for that one?” And I turn around ONLY TO SEE THE MAN I JUST SWIPED NO ON BEHIND ME HAHAHA
@SteveSuckington: Van Gogh's girlfriend: my dearest Vincent, lend me your ear Him: cuts ear off Her: I just wanted u to listen to me Him: nah, I'm good