@sbrooks13: Accidentally took an adderall instead of an anti-depressant now I'm SUPER focused on my depression.
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@3sunzzz: [Bob Dylan giving singing lessons] I'd like you to sing it again, but this time plug your nose and put these 5 marbles in your mouth.
@Sickayduh: Her: I think you're getting too into those Hobbit movies Me: *stops gluing a beard on the baby* what?
@_Mo_lee_: Red cross: would you like to volunteer to give blood? Me: oh, no thank you, I already involuntarily give blood 5 days out of the month
@NervousJr: Snow White is my favorite Disney movie about a man trying to hook up with a woman who just wants to sleep.