@sucittaM: Accidentally triple-knotted my laces so I guess I'm wearing these shoes for the rest of my life.
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@rorygneesmith: If you love someone, let them go. If they come back, it's because no one else wanted them.
@iwearaonesie: If you use karate instead of a knife your wife won't ask you to cut the vegetables anymore
@DamienFahey: I get more excited seeing my luggage on a baggage carousel than I do seeing a person I know.