@sucittaM: Accidentally triple-knotted my laces so I guess I'm wearing these shoes for the rest of my life.
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@Shock_Monster: Her: I saw this Yoda pen & I thought of you. Me: WHY? YOU THINK I'M 8 OR SOMETHING? Her: No, sorry... Me: Hey, hey, hey! Leave the pen.
@OhNoSheTwitnt: "I mean if you do the math the most weight I can really gain from the pound of pumpkin pie I ate tonight is only one pound" I thought fatly.
@trumpetcake: Eating chocolate pudding from a diaper is a good way to get a whole row to yourself at the cinema.