@Home_Halfway: Accidentally used AXE shampoo to wash my cat the other day and now he's boxing strays and impregnated 17 dogs
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@DaddyJew: 6: can u get me a drink? Me: no, you're 6yo. You can get your own drink 6: fine *goes to fridge Me: while ur there can u grab me a beer?
@SmartassChef: Most of my one night stands happened because they knew they would get a fabulous breakfast the next morning.
@ShutUpThatsWho: [first karate lesson] Me: *entering dojo* BONSAI!!! Sensei: Do you mean 'Banzai'? Me: *just starts chucking little trees at Sensei*