@capricecrane: Accidentally walked into the men's room so I just went ahead and used the urinal so it wouldn't be awkward for anyone.
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@daemonic3: To whoever has my voodoo doll, can you stop making me stare at my phone all day? This isn't funny. I just want to live life again.
@sexncake: I'm trying to become a vegetarian so from now I'm only eating seafood. Like lobster, prawns and drowned cows.
@TheSharona06: Him: Want to play Trivial Pursuit? Me: Sure. But I guarantee you'll win. I'm not that smart. Him: Want to play strip Trivial Pursuit?
@WheelTod: I was born a woman, which came as a tremendous shock to my parents as they'd been expecting a baby.