@Wakenbake77: Accidentally walked into the women's bathroom, went ahead and peed sitting down so it wouldn't be awkward for anyone.
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@IvoryGazelle: My first thought when meeting new people is often how tiny they are and how security in this maternity ward sucks.
@Overdue_Bills: She was like "wrong hole", so I said "adventurous on the e-harmony profile isn't knitting quilts Velma", long story short I'm still single.
@ValeeGrrl: Little does the bus driver know, that "I love you" I shout after my kids every morning is for him too.