@Wakenbake77: Accidentally walked into the women's bathroom, went ahead and peed sitting down so it wouldn't be awkward for anyone.
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@TwoSapphiresBlu: Just think, in 10 years you're going to wish you look as good as you do right now. Assuming you're still alive. ~inspirational
@ericsshadow: [on a date] HER: any accomplishments? ME: yeah, i'm an award winning [eyes darting around] award winning [sees a dog] dog... liker HER: awww