@DomesticGoddss: Accidentally went grocery shopping on an empty stomach and now I'm the proud owner of aisle 7.
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@Shock_Monster: It's been clinically proven that the most effective form of birth control I can use is: "Just be myself."
@CornOnTheGoblin: Hello 911? I was doing that thing where you pretend to walk down stairs behind a couch only it worked. I have no idea where I am. Help me.
@shwebby3: Anytime I see a motorcyclist weaving in and out of traffic and performing tricks I always root for the pavement
@PetrickSara: Them: children are innocent and go to heaven Me: so you're saying Hell is child free?