@envydatropic: According to all these "note to self" sticky notes I am a very forgetful person also I have no idea what these notes mean
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@smedlee: When I lose a follower, I like to pretend they were Taken, then I go to Europe and shoot absolutely everyone.
@Fred_Delicious: "tell me doc, is it bad news?" "you've got piles" ... "piles of health that is! LOL" ... "except in your legs. gonna have to amputate those"
@GrantTanaka: "Hello, 911? Hi, I was just wondering: is it stop, drop, THEN roll? Cause my friend--STOP SCREAMING, I'M ASKING THEM"
@UncleDuke1969: [doorbell] "Hi, do you have time to discuss the Bible?" "You have cookies?" "No, sir I-" "Come back when you have cookies." *closes door*