@envydatropic: According to all these "note to self" sticky notes I am a very forgetful person also I have no idea what these notes mean
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@UNTRESOR: You should always read labels. I was about to eat this rat poison but then saw it has gluten in it. I could have died,
@sumpeoplelikeit: The person sleeping next to you is statistically more likely to murder you than any other person on the entire planet. Do the dishes.
@AimeeHelene1: If this paper cut is any indication of my pain threshold, then child birth would definitely kill me.