@jordan_stratton: According to commercials, a woman's primary goal in life is to lock in moisture.
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@jonnysun: phd thesis: the amoumt of property damage depicted in a action movie is directley proportional to its budget
@Serious_Law_Guy: Me: Your honor, he's not asking the witness any questions. He's just reading Harry Potter to the jury. Judge: Yeah, I'm gonna allow it.
@realHamOnWry: According to the most current magazine in this doctor's office, every home in America will have a television by 1962.