@jordan_stratton: According to commercials, a woman's primary goal in life is to lock in moisture.
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@emmaberen: with absolutely zero exaggeration I think I can say that this is the funniest thing I have ever seen
@wickedsuga: Proud of myself. I only ate 1 brownie today. I mean, it was cut up into 8 very large pieces and took up the whole pan but yeah, 1 brownie.
@sarah1mc: When I get murdered the neighbors will be on the news like, "Wow, I can't believe it took so long."