@Amburglar_: According to Facebook, 78% of girls I went to high school with now own their own photography business.
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@Paxochka: It's cute how alcohol comes in a paper bag so when you hit rock bottom you have something to hyperventilate into.
@eddiepepitone: Signs that things aren't going well: 1) your gums bleed when u brush your hair. 2) u pray for the demise of the same 6 people every day.
@dubstep4dads: Judge: Show us on this doll where the man hurt you. Me: He didn't. But watch this. [I make the doll do a backflip] Judge: Holy shit lol