@Amburglar_: According to Facebook, 78% of girls I went to high school with now own their own photography business.
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@LackOfShame: The funniest thing about being sober is someday finding out that you were the mayor of Toronto.
@XplodingUnicorn: If you still have a landline, I assume you also own a butter churn and ride a dinosaur to work.
@moneybreton: Top Fears 1.Walking on manholes 2.Driving, hit a deer, windshield breaks, deer caught and frantically bucks me to death 3.Christopher Walken