@Amburglar_: According to Facebook, 78% of girls I went to high school with now own their own photography business.
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@david8hughes: The first fireman to get called to rescue a cat in a tree must have had the hose wrestled from him before someone told him to get a ladder.
@SomeChrisTweets: *ding* This is your captain speaking. We... Is this what my voice sounds like? Nobody told me! Haha, wow, weird. We're out of fuel.
@Sickayduh: Rose: I'm so cold. Jack: Listen, Rose. You're gonna get out of here, you're gonna go on and- fine, you can have my damn hoodie
@jasonlight73: I like to cover my tracks by ending all my Google searches with the word "hypothetically"