@FuzzyPimple: According to facebook it is my wife's birthday.
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@SardonicTart: How to beat depression: 1) Talk to someone 2) When that person says "just cheer up," beat that person with a baseball bat.
@Contwixt: If I was a witch I would cast vague and subtle spells. So and so never gets to see a rainbow again. That type of stuff.
@SodomyClown: The worst feeling in the world is being in love with somebody that knows how to untie rope and run away while you're napping.
@Adar79Angie: The security camera at work has "too many instances" of me acting like a dinosaur on film. And "any amount" is "too many." According to HR.