@bazecraze: According to hotel AC, the difference between 72 degrees and 73 degrees is 40 degrees.
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@SaveItForFest: Bad day? Listen to 90s rap. Problem solved. Unmotivated? Listen to 90s rap. Problem solved. Don't like rap? Listen to 90s rap Problem solved
@GrabTheWEness: If goldfish crackers actually tasted like goldfish-- wait, I just realized I've never tasted a goldfish. What if the crackers are accurate?
@KeetPotato: accountant: "youre basically broke" wife: "he keeps spending money on stupid stuff" me: "lets ask the dog if he thinks his jeans are stupid"
@13spencer: A hot girl in the hallway just smiled at me, but don't worry; I yelled "I'm taken," and ran into the men's bathroom where she can't follow.