@carrietini: According to maxipad commercials, all women are full of blue windshield washer fluid.
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@Book_Krazy: Me: Well hello again. I knew you'd be back. I seem to have that effect on people Fed Ex: Just sign here so I can leave
@Cheeseboy22: It's always a good idea to make friends with babies. That's free cake once a year for a lifetime.
@KeetPotato: [interrupts gf talking about her dream wedding] lol a horse drawn carriage? "what's funny about that?" a horse can't hold a pencil karen
@hasht4g: I wonder how long it will be before "You look like a million bucks" is an insult. #inflation