@carrietini: According to maxipad commercials, all women are full of blue windshield washer fluid.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@BuckyIsotope: I hate my job. The work sucks. The people suck. The pay sucks. *looks up and sees motivational poster on wall* Well this changes everything
@thelaurenobrien: Sometimes when I'm in the shower I'll hear a strange noise and start singing EXTRA good in case the intruder has some connections.
@VanGobot: *captain over the PA*: and if you look out your window to the left, you'll see Jerry, who is no longer my best friend, and deserves this.
@neiltyson: Not that anybody asked, but the Irresistible Force beats the Immovable Object — every time.