@ryaninco: According to my cholesterol level I'm a pizza.
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@bumlaser: Attempted to have a bath. I am 6'2". The bathtub most certainly is not. I looked like a praying mantis trying to take a nap in an iPod dock.
@Underchilde: You think you’re not capable of violence, but then a bird sings at 6AM and you start researching surface-to-air missiles.
@hopiecan: how terrible do you think Maria von Trapp's life had to be that she included "doorbells" on her list of favorite things
@DanMentos: "Ed's Plumbing" Hi I think an engagement ring is stuck in my toilet "ok when did your lady drop-" She didn't "Sir?" I hid it in her dessert