@ryaninco: According to my cholesterol level I'm a pizza.
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@JermHimselfish: The eyes are the window to the soul which is why I'm throwing pebbles at your face.
@GoldenSpirals: [At Doctor] Me:I'm having chest pain Doc:Did you buy a new bra? Me:Yes! Thanks for noticing! Doc:I meant it could be causing the pain Me:Oh
@Amburglar_: Ugh don't you hate it when you accidentally leave the volume up on your phone & the next stall hears the *click* when you snapchat your turd