@robyn_vo: According to my cousin's diploma, he graduated from an "Institute of Fine Farts" because I just made an adjustment to it with a sharpie.
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@withanewname: [breaking up with girlfriend via the jumbotron] "Hey, check out the scoreboard while I grab a hot dog."
@murrman5: I got fired today "what? why?" no idea "you have no idea?" nope "I'm confused when did this happen?" between pre break break and break
@SuperRandomish: I imagine the best part about driving a smart car is that when there's no parking spots you can just put it in your backpack.