@dafloydsta: Wife: I want a divorce.
Me: [into drive-thru intercom] One divorce please.
@asimplesean: Just saw a dog with three legs. He did have a fourth leg, but he also had three legs.
@Mikecanrant: Not trying to be racist or ignorant but...nnseriously, all crocodiles and alligators look alike.
@Ungli_Baba: Me: Dad, how did you guys manage without WhatsApp and SMS ??
Dad: We used to keep useless information to ourselves.
@Jmboyd58: There is no "I" in TEAM. But there is MEAT.
Delicious meat.
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