@CerebralWreck: According to my FitBit, last week I burned 23 calories and my Ex's house.
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@CalebTenenbaum: If a 99lb girl eats a 1lb plate of nachos is she technically 1% nachos? I think I'm on to something...
@iGreenMonk: I hate when films say " 'MAY' contain nudity?" Either it does or it doesn't. DON'T WASTE MY TIME