@KaysNH: I thought I'd lose tons more weight if I drank extra glasses of water every day, but I guess I was just diluting myself.

@i_love_fudge: Close the door. You're letting the wifi out.

@isuckontits:

@topaz_kell: If you look up my hair color history at the salon, you'll think I'm a unicorn.

@TheToddWilliams: [blind date] HER: I'm a Nihilist ME {trying to impress her}: Egypt is a beautiful country