@LuvPug: The best part of the Titanic is when Rose is holding onto Jack and she's all like, 'I'll never let go' and then she lets go.

@clindsaysway: Grandma used the same wrapping paper for 25 years, so don't tell me about the great 'bargain' you found.

@_Water_Baby: *at casino* When he hands you $100 and asks you to go get chips, do not ask him Doritos or Lays. Get both. It will leave him speechless.

@_mascaragirl: *Astronaut takes a photo of Earth from space* Earth: "Delete it."

@Donna_McCoy: *tries to quietly check the football score during a home invasion