@kelkulus: According to my laptop, my New Year's resolution is 1680 x 1050.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@shutupmikeginn: "Are you left handed?" - people who see me writing with my left hand, curious if I am just doing it for show.
@ranndrew: "Thats a killer dirt bike you've got, man!" *dirt bike holds a knife to your throat* Believe me...I know.
@ryan9billion: I liked watching squirrel soap operas unfold in my backyard right up until the damn neighbor cat murdered all the actors.
@orange_rhymer: Me: I invited Todd over for dinner. Wife: Uncle Todd or Todd who takes things literally? *Todd exits out the back door with our television*