@LOsepyan: According to my next door neighbor's diary I have "boundary issues" can you believe that?
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@iinkedZombie: [pet store] Me *looking at snakes* "CAN I FEED THEM?" Pet Store Employee [never looks up from his phone] sure. Me *putting my kids in tank*
@jay_as_hell: choose one to drop: 1. acid 2. bass 3. out of college 4. the assault charges 5. that thun thun thun
@SumReecesPieces: "I need to talk to you." Has the power to make you remember every single bad thing you've ever done. Ever.
@MisterBombay: Eighteen is too young to get married. You can't even buy alcohol. If you can't drink, how are you going to make your marriage work?