If bad ads/pop-ups are redirecting you, please take a screenshot and email it to [email protected]. Help us keep the site clean!
@haykshan: According to serving sizes tonight, I'm a family of 4.
@Book_Krazy: *pulls up to window*
Me: *on phone* Ok, so you want a chocolate shake also? Ok, I'll get two then. *phone rings while its at my ear*
@JaneBadall: So sorry I hit a nerve. I was actually aiming for a major artery.
@rolldiggity: 1. Put "Out of Order" sign on a staircase.
2. Wait until someone says, "Stairs can't be out of order!" and uses them.
3. Release the bees.
@doktorj: If we were in a fight, I'd mop the floor with you...
Except I don't do housework.
@MeemawKate: "Are you still watching?"
Yes, Netflix. I didn't magically get my shit together in the last three hours.