@envydatropic: According to the CDC, the leading cause of death in 2016 was having a career in the 80's that brought you any level of fame
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@JermHimselfish: I dream of living in a world where men are judged not by the color of their skin, but by the contents of their iPod.
@ForeverHairy: The nice thing about getting a pet lobster is that you can always threaten to eat it when your kid stops taking care of it.
@Izianikapani: It's not difficult to tell crocodiles and alligators apart. One will see you in a while whereas the other will see you later.