@AnnaKei26: According to the New England Journal of Medicine, the blood alcohol level is to be measured in Lohans now
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@dlicj: me: (texting boss) we still on for work today? boss: yes. you dont have to text me this every morning. we're "on" for work every day mon-fri
@jonnysun: lets play cops & robbers! ok! i'll be robber! i'll be cop! *robber hides* *cop just starts wrestling all the black kids in the neigborhood*
@cloudypianos: i wonder what my cat is thinking about when she sits curled up at my feet staring at me for hours and sharpening her hattori hanzo sword
@david8hughes: [first day as Niagara Falls tour guide] And to the left you can see [frantically flips through your guide] water.