@Parentpains: According to the police report, waking up in your lover's arms is only romantic when they know how you got in their house.
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@salmarch79: A stress ball, made of concrete, and to throw at the person who's stressing you out.
@ShaeAaron: "I'm sorry. I haven't had sex for a very long time." -- and other things I say during the meeting to excuse my bad behavior.
@callie_cakes: Ex picked up the kids, brought me coffee & took out my trash. This divorce thing is really working out for me.
@robdelaney: Those a-hole guys on "Teen Mom" don't think being a dad is "cool." Well check me out #Responsibility never looked so "swag! " lol