@Parentpains: According to the police report, waking up in your lover's arms is only romantic when they know how you got in their house.
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@TheToddWilliams: MOM: What did you learn at summer camp? KID: We built a generator out of sticks and mud MOM: A generator? For what? KID: To charge our iPods
@ThaJawn: Surgeon: *puts mask on my face* count backwards from 10 Me: 10, 9, 8, I'm scared Surgeon: *whispers* You should be Me: Wha *passes out