@Parentpains: According to the police report, waking up in your lover's arms is only romantic when they know how you got in their house.
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@trouteyes: Policeman: Name please? Woman: Cheryl Cole Policeman: Your FULL name Woman: (quietly) Chernobyl Coleslaw
@SveldtSmelt: Talking to women is a lot like origami. I don't know where to start and I always end up screaming.
@moren1ke: i always feel slightly dishonest ticking the "i'm not a robot" box because how do i know, how does anyone know for certain
@fanofhell: Cop: show us where the hamburgers are, hamburglar Hamburglar: you've got the wrong guy. I steal ham. You're thinking of hamburgerburglar