@TylerLinkin: According to the scale at my gym, all I've lost so far is 300 dollars.
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@hazelmotes1: I keep my monocle freshly waxed so it easily slips out of my eye socket and falls into my cup of tea whenever I'm shocked by your behavior.
@: Ways to look busy: 1. Turn up later than everyone else but rush into the office looking annoyed 2. Act like spending half an hour in the toilet has annoyed you 3. Rush around with an open laptop looking annoyed 4. Get annoyed at a printer 5. Just generally look annoyed
@TheRolo: And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance... Barista: Sir your Caffè Mocha is ready. Me: Oh ok nevermind.
@BallsMcBallski: My boss: Are you on Twitter? Me: I've never heard of it. Is it a drug? Why would you ask? Am I acting funny? Maybe you're acting funny.