@TylerLinkin: According to the scale at my gym, all I've lost so far is 300 dollars.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@pixelatedboat: You can't trust the mainstream media, that's why I get all my news from the giant in my dreams
@SortaBad: "Click to read this man's secret to incredible 6 pack abs!" *click* article: hard work, diet, & exercise me: I have never felt more betrayed
@eff_yeah_steph: I just flashed a goofy smile at the guy coming out of the bathroom at the coffee place because thought it was my husband. Then, to make it less awkward I said, “sorry you’re not my husband”.
@therealeatwood: BOB: Hey boss can I get another raise SCROOGE: But I just gave you… B: What’s that over there, is it a gho-o-o-ost?? Ooooooooo S: OK! OK!