@Cnelson019Carol: According to the stores .I should be in a Halloween costume, sitting under a Christmas tree eating turkey . I'm so confused.
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@4boding: My daughter asked me to help her find a job because she’s learned enough in school. She’s 5.
@KyleMcDowell86: [getting pulled over] Me: R u a bear cop? Bear cop: Is that a problem? Me: As long as you're not a maul cop *mauls me for bad pun*
@BubblesnBooze: I just found a human tooth and a pair of underwear in my purse. I might be a serial killer or I might be a mom, you'll never know.
@SteussieErica: Parenting: 1st kid: Document their every move 2nd kid: forget to pick them up 99% of the time