@DaddyJew: According to this box of spaghetti I am an Italian family of 8
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@TheTalkingPipe: This beautiful woman is winking at me right now. Now she's using the other eye. Oh never mind. She's falling asleep.
@remmarg_yelsel: With Instagram's new video function, we will now be able to hear the quacks from all the duck faces.
@RobDenBleyker: I just hope the government doesn't have my Angry Birds scores. All in all they're pretty embarassing.
@Fred_Delicious: [sex addiction group] "Hi, my name is Fred, and as I've got a saxophone in my hand it's fair to assume I misread the ad"