@DaddyJew: According to this box of spaghetti I am an Italian family of 8
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@Steven37366100: Wife: *spreads picnic beneath large oak tree* Me: No good Wife: Why not? Me: Seems shady Wife: *attacks me with plastic cutlery*
@Mikecanrant: So carrying a "wet floor" sign and putting it down immediately after using your best pickup line on a woman is frowned upon Dating is hard.
@rickolantern: *replaces cream in doughnuts with mayo, tries not to laugh as Frank from accounting eats one...watches, waits, frowns as Frank goes for 2nd