@TheFactsBook: According to U.S. FDA standards, 1 cup of orange juice is allowed to contain 10 fruit fly eggs, but only 2 maggots.
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@FattMernandez: My girlfriend told me to take a spider out instead of killing it. We went and had some drinks. Cool guy. Wants to be a lawyer.
@Bratch_Patch: "Friends are a dime a dozen." *pulls out a sack full of dimes* "Sweet, I'll take 32 dozen friends please."
@CulturedRuffian: Chef 1: You can't serve cake for breakfast, moms won't allow it. Chef 2: What if we fry it in a pan & pour syrup all over it? 1: GENIUS!