@Cpin42: According to Verizon, the cable guy should be here sometime between 10:00 a.m. and the return of Christ.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@EllDavey: I go in bars in a suit & tie, drink all night & write tweets down in a notebook. They're not quite sure if I'm the district manager or not.
@JB4Realz: Turns out, the guy who invented CPR just liked kissing strangers then punching them in the chest.
@FuckabillyRex: Sat cross-legged on the floor for 5 minutes and I guess I’ll never walk normally again.