@Cpin42: According to Verizon, the cable guy should be here sometime between 10:00 a.m. and the return of Christ.
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@KeetPotato: [at fancy-dress party shouting over all the barking] "YOU NEED TO LEAVE" me dressed as a giant vacuum cleaner: "I DIDNT KNOW YOU HAD 6 DOGS"
@T_N_Crumpets: Me: [bursts into wife's meeting] BABE, IT HAPPENED! Wife: Dave, I'm at wo- Me: I paid for 6 [empties chicken nuggets on table] I got 7
@aveuaskew: Pet names convey familiarity and endearment. For example, honey pot, baby cakes, Succubus.