@mrtruthandsoul: According to WebMD, given my symptoms, I died 9 years ago.
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@Laser_Cat: *leans out office door* Susan, hold all my calls. I have a very important lunch. *goes to desk and makes animal crackers fight each other*
@spicy_peen: How do people in the movies dig 6-foot deep graves with a shovel? I got tired digging a hole to plant a bush
@DirtMcTurd: Just reported a car as being stolen because the people inside are black and the stick figures on the rear window are white.