@mrtruthandsoul: According to WebMD, given my symptoms, I died 9 years ago.
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@dubstep4dads: I wonder if Sallys parents were like "Yeah great idea Sally. Sell seashells. On the seashore. Where there are tons of free shells. Idiot."
@samalmightysam: Some people are like water balloons; they're more fun when you throw them out the window.
@Fred_Delicious: *knock at the door* "H...hello?" "Hi, i'm not a mouse" "Phew, that's good because im a large block of cheese, lemme just open thARGGGHHHHHHH