@mrtruthandsoul: According to WebMD, I either have the Ebola virus or I just sat on my car keys :/
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@SamGrittner: Whenever someone's robbing my house, I pretend I'm robbing it too then I make off with as much of my stuff as possible.
@JasonLastname: Historians say teenagers in medieval times would send an average of 180 tiny scrolls by raven per day
@ColorMeScradd: MAN!! My boss is always all "Blah blah blah!", "You're late!", and "Get me more pictures of Spiderman!!"