@danguterman: According to WebMD, I have a Client Error due to 400 Bad Request.
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@brendohare: Ants can lift something 50 times their body weight. Wow. That means you can lift a leaf. Cool. I could do that when I was 14. Tiny idiots.
@vineyille: "I saw mommy kissing santa claus" has the same number of syllables as "I saw someone die at Disney World." Life's funny like that.
@simoncholland: I just want to be rich enough that I don't have to watch DIY videos on YouTube every time something in my house breaks.
@sixfootcandy: (first date) Me: *hyperventilating* Him: Don't be nervous. Take a deep breath. Me: Can't. I'm wearing three pairs of Spanx.