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@envydatropic: According to WebMD, people are Sick & Tired of me
@TrueTorontoGirl: Just watched 3 people jogging outside and it has inspired me to get up and close the blinds.
@KyleMcDowell86: [snake charmer struggling to get snake to stand up] I swear this never happens
@SteveSuckington: The only thing worse than sitting down on a cold toilet seat is sitting down on a warm toilet seat.
@drunktweets81: My chair at work is really uncomfortable. I wonder if a stool softener will work.
@ShaunRightNow: Yeah I'm married, but get one thing straight, I do WHAT I want, WHEN I wanfdsskk THIS IS SHAUN'S WIFE, HE HAS TO GO NOW, HE SAYS GOODNIGHT.