@AmnesiaRose: According to WebMD, this hairy thing on my chest is a cat
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Vodkantots: Did you know that you can get kicked out of a gym for using a laser to point out areas people should work on? Well, you can.
@hythemafia: *Food hits floor* Little Germs: "Let's get it!" King Germ: "No!!! We must wait 5 seconds......"
@shegotagronk: You're so vain, you probably think me driving by your house 27 times at 2 a.m. wearing all black with binoculars is about you, don't you.
@SteveSuckington: Sex with me is like bowling. Lots of drinking and cursing. Sticking your fingers in weird holes. You have to rent shoes.