@AmnesiaRose: According to WebMD, this hairy thing on my chest is a cat
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@Book_Krazy: My boss says I intimidate the other employees, so I just stared at him until he apologized
@DamienFahey: Congratulations, Americans who write "Cheers" at the end of e-mails. You've found something even more pretentious than "Sent from my iPhone"
@DaddyJew: Librarian: can I check you out? Me: sure [spins around] Librarian: I meant your book Me: oh yea, that makes way more sense