@peachesanscream: Accordion to research, 9 out of 10 people don't notice when you replace words with random musical instruments.
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@Book_Krazy: Hub: Did you eat all the nachos? Me: Noooo. I had one nacho. Hub: because they were stuck together? Me: LIKE I SAID, ONE NACHO!
@Dani_Feld: The right response to "I'm a bit tied up at the moment" isn't "what are you wearing?" Apparently.
@Black__Elvis: I once had a brush with Death and then a floss and a rinse; no woman wants to get intimate with a dark annihilator of souls with bad teeth.
@KateWhineHall: Remember back when we knew the 7- or 10-digit phone numbers for ALL our friends and family. Now the only phone number I know is 911.