@peachesanscream: Accordion to research, 9 out of 10 people don't notice when you replace words with random musical instruments.
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@UncleDuke1969: Date: "You're very tall! Do you play basketball?" Me: "You're very fat. Are you a sumo wrestler?"
@shariv67: The bright side of global warming is that 100% of our great grandchildren will own beachfront property.
@bornmiserable: Coming soon to Fox and Friends: a crime fighting duo useless at stopping mass shootings. They are THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS, Wednesdays at 9 pm.