@AnOrangeSNES: Ace of Base and the Lords of Acid meet in a bar and neutralize each other
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@Ibeerya: Saw a couple standing in the park holding each other tightly, silently, not moving. I was touched. Both their phones must've been stolen.
@Fred_Delicious: [Girlfriend looks at me in disgust] "Did u just propose using emojis?" ... "Technically its called a propoji, but yes" [She's already gone]
@dumbbeezie: How to handle a one night stand the next morning 1. Put on Titanic 2. He's gone, that's it
@Book_Krazy: Me: you can't just be pretty. You have to be smart too! 8: But mom, you're pretty. Me: Awe thank......wait what?