@bourgeoisalien: Acid rain is total bullshit. I stood in it for hours and didn't even hallucinate one time.
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@lisaOoOo: I hate when my friends stand so close to me when pictures are being taken. It's like they don't know I plan on cropping them out later.
@Chumpstring: dentist: the guy in the waiting room says your mother is ugly patient: he doesn’t even know my mom dentist: maybe you should punch him in the teeth
@hazelmotes1: Pink Camouflage: for when you go pheasant hunting on the old cotton candy plantation.
@LifeUnPinterest: All these new parents wanting time to slow down, and I’m over here trying to get a fake ID for my 4YO so she can go buy Mommy’s wine.