@McNevich: Actions speak louder than words, unless those words are spoken by a drunken woman
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@peterjames48: Birth certificates need a popup dialog box: "Are you SURE you want to spell your kid's name that way?"
@Illiter8: Only my husband would walk up to my gynecologist in Costco, point at me, give him the two thumbs up while grinning and say, 'Nice one, huh?'
@MartaEffing: Therapist: You need to focus on setting healthy boundaries. Me: *goes home* *puts broccoli around perimeter of donut box* *eats 12 donuts*
@Midgetspar: If I had a fake leg it would be a see-thru plastic one full of jelly beans and I'd only charge kids a dime for a handful like the old days.