@McNevich: Actions speak louder than words, unless those words are spoken by a drunken woman
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@omgthatspunny: Cinderella was thrown off the basketball team because she ran away from the ball.
@keyblur_justin: I was going to have sex with you, but you asked what Mario Kart was and wore pants inside the pillow fort....I'm just kidding. I don't care.
@weinerdog4life: Sorry I ate your frisbee bro, I thought it was a tortilla, I like to eat tortillas I find at the park.
@garrettbarry70: Accidentally changed neighbor to neighbour and now I'm saying stuff like "bloody hell" and "brilliant"