@PaperWash: Actions speak louder than words when you smack someone in the back of the head with a shovel
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@wittwitbarista: Serial killers are updating their check list now for dumping bodies: 1) will this location be discovered by Pokémon players? 2) do I care?
@AbbyHasIssues: How to clean a plastic shower curtain liner: Step 1: Throw it away and buy a new one for $5 at Target.
@TrueTorontoGirl: My friend is looking for a single, normal, well adjusted man. I told her to avoid twitter.