@garrettbarry70: 'Active' shower gel because I have no idea what active smells like.
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@Dawn_M_: I never eat coins in front of vending machines because I don't want them to fall in love with me.
@theshamingofjay: You can tell a lot about a person based on how long it takes them to find the gun emoji.
@mbnels: Tech guy says: "When in doubt reboot. " Okay, I've rebooted but i still don't see how my boots have ANYTHING to do with a computer.
@hippieswordfish: ME: I JUST WENT TO THAT NEW SALON WHERE THEY CUT YOUR HAIR OFF BY SHOOTING IT WITH A GUN FRIEND: oh cool how was it ME: WHAT