@KirstySykes96: actors kiss each other for like 7 seasons and don't fall in love but when someone holds the door for me i think about it for like 4 months
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@jake_likes_naps: Karen: Are we ok? Me: [removes earbud] Yes. Karen: It's just that you named a Spotify playlist "LET'S GET DIVORCED"
@Chelsea_Elle: So those numbers on sports jerseys are how many people each player has killed or what.
@juliussharpe: I'd be less scared of trying to take a gun from a mugger than I am of taking an iPad from my kid.