@rachelle_mandik: "Actually I have a lot of secs" is apparently not the right answer to "Do you have a sec?"
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@clarkekant: At some point in time, the brain named itself. You think it would have gone with something a little better, like Bernard.
@offbeatoliv: Sister: "Family shot time" Me: "Whooo Hoooo....drink drink drink drink!" Sister: [holds up camera] "I want to take a picture" Me: oh
@KKAlThani: "Dad, how did you fall in love with mom?" "Well, son, long story short I saw her picture on Instagram and it was love at first...filter."