@rachelle_mandik: "Actually I have a lot of secs" is apparently not the right answer to "Do you have a sec?"
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@RdrJay47: [Food Network: Cake Wars] As the team barely delivers their massive cake to the judges table. Cat Judge pushes it off the table
@Rick_IZ: People who lick their fingers then page through the papers on the printer Just throw it out. I'll print it again.
@WhatevaConc: Not now ex-boyfriend. Someone favorited 2 of my tweets. I'm a huge deal around there now & you lost your chance. Just kidding. What time?
@KenJennings: I ordered a red ottoman online yesterday and now all my self-aware sidebar ads are a never-ending David Lynch fever dream of red ottomans.