@mattytalks: Actually Jennifer, diamonds are a girls best friend, so technically I slept with your second best friend
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@ticknada: Girls holding hands with gay guys, you don't fool me. Oh that's your bf. You still don't fool me.
@TheBeerGuy73: Teens today stuck inside all day long playing video games. In my day, we spent all day outside smoking hash oil & cigarettes with friends.
@XplodingUnicorn: Priest: Do you read to your kids from the Good Book? Me: Every night Priest: What's their favorite part? Me: When Frodo destroys the ring